EASTENDERS FINALLY GETS SOME LAUGHS

ABOVE: Eastenders' Walford is currently plagued by a rampaging killer vicar

HAD to laugh at the EastEnders end message: “If you’ve been affected by the issues raised…” Yes. Who among us can honestly say we’ve never been troubled by a rampaging killer vicar?

I can scarcely leave the house ­ without tripping over angst-ridden gay ­Muslims.

And whose camp 14-year-old son hasn’t stood trial for GBH with intent?

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At least Ben’s been sentenced to five months and a head transplant.

I’LL tell you which issues disturb me: Walford hasn’t had a GP for six months. The cops have given up searching for Archie’s killer.

And, worst of all, Cheryl “Heather Trott” Fergison has got off with a ­Moroccan goatherd! Poor sod. He’s had the goats, he wants the moose.

On their first date he took her out for dinner, then a film, then another ­dinner.

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